A couple of years ago I was at the beach with some friends. The day was gorgeous: sun shining allover the place, turquoise sky, emerald-green sea, really one of those days we feel grateful to be able to enjoy.
The conversation was light and easy. Then, two young girls passed by; we saw them walking towards the sea: small bikinis, sexy bodies, big thighs and bums. They were happy, smiling, waving their curves as they walked. Two guys stared at them and did some nasty comments.
One of the women in my group said ‘They should be ashamed of themselves; if I was their mother I would never allow my daughter to wear a bikini like that, I would put her on a heavy diet’. I was appalled by the comment for all the things it implied. ‘I wish I had that level of self-esteem as they have, when I was their age’, I said, ‘and if I were their mother I would support this love they have for their bodies.’
This comment has been in my mind ever since, and made me thought of other circumstances in which I might have made similar ones. It’s all about our worth, ladies, and we have to face it.
Let’s talk about WORTH. It’s a hard topic to talk about. Especially for us, women. Worth is something that starts to be diminished at early childhood and keeps on being diminished as we grow: ‘sit upright on the chair’, ‘pull your shirts and skirts down’, ‘don’t sit with your legs too wide open’, ‘don’t talk too loud’, ‘behave like a girl’, ‘if you take too much care of yourself they will think you are not clever’, ‘be sexy’, ‘don’t be too sexy’, ’if you are opinionated you are masculine’, ‘if you’re too feminine you look fragile’, ‘no woman is complete unless she becomes a mother’, ‘age is a curse’, ‘if you’re ambitious you’ll end up alone’.
And it goes on and on until the day you wake up and pose the big, damn, question: who am I ?
The day that question arrives (and for some, unfortunately, that does not happen) is the day you are offered a chance to understand who you truly are, and you will make it by discovering your self-esteem. You see, amongst other things, our worth is generous: it sits there, inside of us, waiting to be rediscovered, nurtured, rebuilt and fully enjoyed.
The way you see your worth (or the lack of acknowledging it) frames the way you live your life. Maybe it’s about time to reframe it.
