Let’s look at us, women, for a moment.

In fact, let me invite you to take more time than a moment, and reflect on how we see, treat and think of other women.

History has shown that it was easy to build competition among us; you know the saying: a lie told many times becomes the truth. And so we were told not to like our bodies, to compare ourselves to others, to see another woman as a possible threat, to be quiet and delicate instead of loud and strong (as if they were mutually exclusive), to fear aging, to crush our self worth and live in a constant impostor syndrome…

We know all this, don’t we? We know it, and yet, we think we fight it by saying that we’re against it.

Well, ladies, it’s not enough. Saying is not enough.

Saying is good, but it is almost like when you point the finger to someone else before thinking how it can apply to you. And the truth is, we participate in the game, we still do, conscious or unconsciously.

We do it when we still educate boys and girls in a different way in what concerns the chores at home. We reinforce it when we criticize our girls because of their weight, their way of dressing or their ways of expression.

We are part of the game when we easily say nasty things about other women, and especially when we do not stop to think how those comments are just a translation of our unworthiness, our jealousy or our envy.

We contribute for it when we allow a man to interfere in our friendship: have you noticed how many women become isolated from their group of married friends when they decide to divorce? Have you noticed those occasions when a ‘good’ friend of yours makes you feel transparent in the presence of a man she is interested about?

And the list goes on.

We may not like it but this issue is all about this: the way we still are not SISTERs to one another.

Being a Sister does not mean we condescend with everything another woman does. Not at all: it means that we consciously do not contribute to the game of patriarchy.

The first way to step out of it is to go deep inside yourself and become aware. Aware of what you do, aware of your conditioning, aware of the state of your level of worthiness.

I’ve become aware of how I still am unbalanced in what regards the distribution of the family tasks (thank you Laura Sagnier for ever calling my attention for this!), I constantly remind myself not to do my younger son’s bed, clean up his room or tire myself by not asking for help in the kitchen. And still, I do fail, have to go back and poke me, once again.

I sometimes think the Universe has gifted me with two sons just because of this: to become conscious of the important task of educating men in equality, and get ready for my future granddaughters to find me more liberated.

I didn’t have a lot of female friends when I was a teenager: the competition was too fierce, my self worth wasn’t that strong, and my parents (thank God!) educated me in total respect for friendship. Now, at 57, I am proud to say that I have a group of amazing female friends that I consider my sisters. I am happy and I know I will welcome much more.

But still, I am not happy. The real game changer for me will be the moment compassion and understanding will grow amongst us, women, the moment in which we finally will proudly embrace the responsibility for transformation to the occur.

Are you ready to start a new game, Sister?

♥