I was a mother at the exact moment I chose to be one.
I was a mother after travelling a lot, after investing immensely in my career, after having a hell of a great time with my beloved ones and friends. I was a mother at 32, and I was mother again at 44, when everybody was saying it might be too late. Yes, I decided when to be a mother, and I did it because I wanted so, at the moment I felt it was right for me and my partners (I was married twice).

Not every woman feels free to do this, but we all feel in our skins and bones the pressure of very opposite messages. There is the pressure of having to be a Mother as if it was critical to define us as a woman. Funny enough, accusing fingers point directly at all of those who are or have the desire to be a mother, too. Let’s thing about work: how many women in this world are still discriminated for wanting or having children? How many postpone that decision for being afraid of being fired or rejected? Let’s think about relationships: how many women cope with unbearable marriages because they fear being alone with their kids? How many repress their wish because society says you need a father for it? How many project in their children what they didn’t accomplish, thus falling in depression after they have gone?

To be or not to be a mother is not the question. The question is: do you want it? It’s an option, not an obligation. It’s a responsibility, a full time job that you cannot (or should not) abandon.

No woman must feel compelled to be a mother because, the fact is: we’re all mothers.

We are mothers every time we offer a creation to this world.

We are mothers whenever we take good care of others.

And we are brave mothers when we choose not to be.